We're looking for height

A team of Managers was given an assignment to measure the height of a small flagpole.   So the Managers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape. They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess.
An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs."See this idiot. We're looking for height and he gives the length!"
 
Moral:  "No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you".

Time has no holiday

Be simple, but look stylish

Be tough, but look soft

Be tensed, but look cool

Be a beginner, but look winner

 

Thats the way of life ...

Life has no pause buttons !

Dreams have no expiry date !

Time has no holiday !

 

So, Don't waste a single moment in ur life. Live it.

my friend

WHEN YOU WIN,

I will proudly tell the world ...

"Hey, that's my friend"

But WHEN YOU LOSE,

I will sit by your side hold your hand and say...

"Hey, I am your friend"

jokes

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells
her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their
friends.


5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.

7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a
forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL
him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, we will
just throw him away from our path. Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him
because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in
your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in
your life.

9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.


10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you
from Darkness. Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please
PAY the  ELECTRICITY BILL.

11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women. Because per
Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

12. "A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it is built for" - Albert Einstein

 

 

GULF

This is GULF

* Local calls are free
* Petrol is cheaper than water, Payment for drainage too!!
* Any building construction finishes in 3 months
* Unqualified get more salary than Qualified
* Labourers are paid less than what they can earn back in their own country
* Companies can kick out their employees without any reason
* Wastas (recommendation) are more powerful than money
* Cleaners have more Wasta than officers
* Watchman has more Rights than the Building Owner
* Office boy & Drivers  have more influence on Boss than Manager
* Gulf climate changes so fast, in one hour u can see raining, dust storm, hot / humid / chilling weather
* Gulf is located in desert, still u find greenery everywhere
* If u can't earn money in the Gulf, u can't earn anywhere in the world * In Gulf, time goes very fast, Friday to Friday comes u never know, its sooo fast
* Every bachelor has a dream of getting married and buying a house in his home country
* 80% people come here with a desire to go back to their home country within 5 years but spend whole life here
* U love your parents, friends, relatives 100 times more than when you were together
* Being at home is more painful than being at work
* Food/Grocery delivery to the car * A Shopping Mall located every 2 km
* Highway lanes differentiated for slow & fast drivers
* Getting a license is Very difficult but easy loans available to buy a car.
* Smashed cars are more than bugs
* No Queues for women  
TRAFFIC SIGNAL IN GULF:
* GREEN : Signal to go for  Indians, Bangalis, Pakistanis & Philippines.  
* YELLOW : Signal to go for Egyptians and, Americans, Europeans 
* RED : Signal to go for Kuwaitis, Saudis